Go Elf Yourself!
10:00 PM | Author:
Send your own ElfYourself eCards
Junior Management
5:28 AM | Author:

I didn't even know that the term existed. Now I am one.

I just found out yesterday that I got the promotion I was hoping for. It was the most anticlimactic statement I could have imagined. I had in my head that I would be asked to see HR and be offered the position and maybe have a discussion of my responsibilities and the benefits of the position. Nope. I was having coffee with my director when he causally said that a memo would go out today stating that I was the new "Lead Officer". Then then continued on like I already knew the promotion was mine.

I should be excited that I got the promotion and leave it at that. I just can't help feeling like I got cheated out of something. Like there should have been a band and a cake or something. I need to get over it. I not only have a job during the recession, which is more than a lot of people can say, but I just got promoted. I'll just count myself blessed and leave it at that.
World's Slowest Police Chase
5:10 AM | Author:
On my way to work I was on the inbound Ike, a State Trooper squad pulls onto the expressway at Harlem. The squad was fully lit but only going about 40 mph. I was 2 cars back waiting for the trooper to pull someone over, but the squad just kept cruising behind a vehicle at a steady 40 mph. So we pass Austin and I'm starting to wonder why the hell the car won't pull over. If they were trying to make a break for it, 40 mph on a 4 lane expressway isn't going to cut it.

All of a sudden I see another squad hauling off the Austin exit in my rear view mirror. The second squad then joins the world's slowest police chase. All of a sudden from the left lane, using it's signals, the car they are behind pulls from the left lane to the middle lane, waits then shifts to right lane with both squads in tow, still moving at 40mph.

When the "offender" pulled off at Cicero I look over and it's a little old lady who is struggling to even look over the steering wheel. I love Chicago.
Forever On The Dance Floor
3:45 AM | Author:
So after a week hiatus I'm back. I screwed up NaBloPoMo and missed my 1st blogoversary all in one swoop.

This is why I don't drink like I used to. I miss everything. Although I had an amazing time, I negated all my responsibilities leaving the woman and myself not much time to clean the house before Thanksgiving.

So on Friday night, we went to O'Rourkes Office. It's a really cool martini bar on the south side. We also went to Club Crescendo for a manager's last day, it was freaking awesome! Crescendo is definitely my favorite club in downtown Chicago. I forgot how much fun it was to just go out dancing and the just the feeling of being free in the club. I don't know what it is. If I'm sober or around alot of people I know, I am embarrassed to dance but If I'm just out with a few friends at a club I just feel... I dunno it's a really good time.

Saturday we went to the Michigan Avenue Festival of Lights. This is one of my favorite ways to usher in the holiday season. Watching the tree lights turn on as the parade route passes them, the fireworks and the hanging with friends out in the streets; it's all a great way to see the city.

Sunday night was another great night! We all went out to BJ McMahon's on the south side. By we, I mean everyone came out. People I see all the time and people I never get the chance to see came out to wish me well on a recent career accomplishment. Lets just say I was obliterated and extremely happy to be around all those friends.

Monday night = more BJ's. Again went out to BJ's to see some friends I don't always get to see and to quote a friend: "No, I'm not drunk. Not at all. I'M ANNIHILATED!" We then went back to The Garage and played some beer pong and had a "minor" war in which we all received "minor" injuries.

Needless to say it was an great weekend, one that's been a long time coming. Most of the weekends I usually have involve catching up on sleep, a good night and then some form of drama. This was 4 fantastic days in a row.
This Weekend Is Gonna Be WOOT!
9:03 AM | Author:
Tonight we are going out to a martini bar on the south side, then tomorrow is the Michigan Ave. Festival of Lights and Sunday is celebratory drunk day. I am in such a great mood for this weekend! I haven't had a great weekend in a long time. I've had a few really good ones but not a great one and I'm looking forward to it.

I hope everyone has a safe weekend!
If you haven't heard or seen the Palin turkey fiasco, here is the amazing video! This woman makes me feel like really smart and she makes me sad for the Republicans who think this is their future.

PS. Sorry for two videos in two days. I'll work on having real content tomorrow.

Knowing that my NaBloPoMo days are numbered, as my life isn't all that interesting, I started hitting the Stumble! button to find something to blog about. After a while of finding nonsense I came across one of the greatest videos I have ever seen.

Without further ado: Freestyle Rap Battle - Translated

Lean Cuisine Recall
11:37 PM | Author:

Just want to make sure everyone has seen that Nestle is recalling 879,565 pounds of Lean Cuisine brand frozen dinners containing chicken since they may contain shards of hard plastic.

These are the meals that were affected:

  • Lean Cuisine Pesto Chicken with Bow Tie Pasta
  • Lean Cuisine Chicken Mediterranean
  • Lean Cuisine Chicken Tuscan
The Fay Observer has all the production codes.
Sleep or DIE!
9:39 PM | Author:
Apparently if you get less than 7 hours sleep you have a 47% greater chance to develop cancer. Fan-effin-tastic! I quit smoking and start exercising, but I'm gonna die from lack of sleep. Awesome! Here's the whole article from Reuters if y'all are interested in reading about how we are all gonna die. Man I am feeling optimistic. I'm going to bed.
I hate doing laundry. This makes the folding go by so much quicker and easier. Thank you VideoJug!


Fast Folding:How To Fold A T-Shirt In 2 Seconds - Explained
Porn For Women
10:30 AM | Author:
porn for women
It's time the house got a thorough cleaning. That will be my job while the woman is away on a mini vacation with her "bestie." I try to do nice things for her all the time but I seldom clean, so I think this will be a nice gesture.

I hate cleaning and I have trashed the place without her being around, so wish me luck.

Movin' On Up! Maybe...
12:31 PM | Author:
Today I had my interview for a promotion I have been wanting, then not wanting, then wanting more than I can imagine. I really don't know why I scared myself into not wanting it, but I did and it may have hurt my chances.

My initial interview was with my director, who was not very happy that it took me so long to put in for the position. I think that I pulled it out with him though. I explained my position and he seemed to understand, a little.

My second interview with HR went well. It kind of turned into a what can make the overnight shift better in general rather than what I can do on that shift or why am I qualified for the position. One thing I noticed during the HR interview is I need to maintain more eye contact.

My final interview was with the Assistant GM and for some reason I felt the most comfortable during that one. I adjusted my eye contact and used some advice my director gave me. It was only a few moments in before it went the way of the HR interview and then out of nowhere he hit me with it. A Beave Love-Fest. I was truly honored by what he was saying. He told me that I surpassed their expectations of me and that I have come a tremendous way having never worked in this industry before. I was proud of myself for the first time in a long time.

All three told me the decision was to be made very soon. I hope I get this.
Da Bulls!
11:37 PM | Author:
So the hotel's concierge came up with some extra tickets to a Bull's game. Making my first Bulls game ever, tonight's win against the Dallas Mavericks. The seats were amazing, but I don't think I could ever pay $120 for them. ButI am not a basketball fan by any means. I love to play the game but it's boring as hell to watch. Watching it live was a whole new feeling. I really got into the game and my obsession with Sports Center assisted me in already knowing the players. I was actually going a little crazy by the end of the game and they had me totally sucked in. It may have been the fact that we were down 24-3 and ended up winning but man was that fun. I'll have to go see a few more games, I might just start paying a little more attention to the orange ball.
I hurt everywhere. I hurt places that I don't know are called. This workout thing will be the death of me. It kinda hurts my arms just typing. That is pretty sad.

On a whole new topic, the TV is on behind me, and I just noticed the show that's on. The World's Funniest Moments. Now am I the only one who thought Arsenio Hall's career was over? If not, am I the only one who was happy he didn't have a career? I can't believe how lame he is. I'd rather hear Bob Saget's lame jokes than look at Arsenio Hall. This is horriable but I can't turn it off. The videos are not even funny I just want to see what he is gonna say next. Wow this is a car wreck!
My first full workout with Ben the trainer was today. Needless to say he kicked my ass, and I deserved it for being a lazy piece of crap for the last oh... 7 years.

He strapped me up with a heart monitor and it was time to go! We started out with a little cardio, that was cool, no major complaints. Then the torture started. We hit the arm bike, 30 forward then 30 backward then fast to the stationary bike for a minute then fast back to the arm bike, 4x. I got up after the last set and when I saw myself in the mirror, I honestly couldn't remember the last time I was that sweaty. Then pull ups and push ups and step things and some ball on the ground and leg ups and swinging a giant metal ball then...

Me:Uhm Ben I need a sec.
Ben: Come on keep moving your doing fine.
Me: Uhm, just a sec. I need to go throw up.

5 minutes later...

Ben: Did you throw up?
Me: Yeah, I feel better now.
Ben: *High Five* Yes! That's my second this year!
Me: This is gonna fun.
Ben: Yes!

Well, now it was time to cycle through all the exercises again. I made it through to the end and it was time to throw up again. Man I am amazingly out of shape. This time though I couldn't keep going I was getting dizzy and my workout was pretty much done anyway. I threw up one more time for the trifecta and went to talk it out with Ben. He took my heart monitor and got really excited because, well first because he made me puke three times, but second because I burned 834 calories. I got excited because this weeks torture session was over.
Beave's Kitchen
11:03 PM | Author:
I my quest to become a better, stronger, healthier me, I am taking my old recipes and turning them healthy. I will be sharing all of my recipes on my new blog Beave's Kitchen. Every few days I'll post a new super healthy but super tasty recipe.

Check it out and tell me if it needs more salt.
Where Does Depression Hurt?
10:19 PM | Author:
Everywhere...

I am suffering from another Chicago Bears induced depression. I got to go to the game and had a great time tailgating, but the defense let me down again. They can not stop the pass. I was calling the plays and where it was going before the snap and right after. Did they listen to me? No, they never do.
The Ten Things I Love Most
11:37 PM | Author:
I tend to become obsessive with things. Very few stand the test of time though. These are some of the things I am still obsessed with.


1. Chicago

There is no better city in the country. Don't lie to yourself, LA and NYC suck.
2. Politics
I get way obsessive around elections.

3. Family, Friends and Vanessa (my fiancee)
No pics... sorry

4. AMERICAN Football
Go Bears, Go Illini and Go 'Canes. There is not enough football. Even with a channel devoted to the NFl there is still not enough football.

5. Meat
Yum.

6. Chicago Style Hot Dogs
I don't care what you say. There is not to much stuff on it, its a meal on a bun. If I catch you squirting catsup on it and your not under 10, you will loose your hot dog privileges.
7. The Internet
If it wasn't for the internet... I'd get stuff done. Thank you Al Gore!

9. Deep Dish Pizza

There's nothing quite like 3 inches of cheese and sausage under pizza sauce.

10. My Blackberry
I don't know what I would do without it.
He's a Flip-Flopper
11:08 PM | Author:
I got myself a personal trainer to help me get to where I want to be. One day a week I will be meeting with "Ben," who will be kicking my ass and making sure the rest of the week I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. You should see the print out they gave me. If I stick to the program I'm gonna look like an effing beast.

I went grocery shopping to to buy the necessary food stuffs. This food is BORING! But I'm pretty good at the cooking thing so I hope to make it a little better. Oh and Aldi's makes it really easy to eat really good for really cheap. I got 6 pork chops, 4 pieces of salmon, 8 flavored tuna packs, 12 cans of chicken, 2 bags of almonds, a whole bunch of frozen fruit, jello cups, vitamins, a big tub of yogurt and some other crap for like 60 bucks. Try doing that anywhere else. All the old food and crap around the house, yeah that's been removed. Out with the old in with the new.

I am going to stop being a sissy and not smoke another cigarette and stop wearing these patches. I need to have self control if I am going to stick with this. If I can't control the smoking habit, I can't do any of this.

I am motivated. I am ready. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.
The Ten Things I Hate Most
5:23 AM | Author:
It takes a lot for me to truly hate something. These are the things that anger me enough to waste all that energy on hate. I'll have a list of love next, to keep things even.

1.Fanatics
People that put all their energy in loving something so much that they turn into total douchbags and hurt the human race.

2. Intolerance

This doesn't need an explanation.

3. Unwillingness To Accept Change

Times change, people change... everything changes! Get used to it!


4. People Who Hurt Children


This doesn't need an explanation either.


5. PETA

They had a great concept. Then they screwed it up and became a sore on humanity and the animals they sought to help.

6.Lack of Elevator Etiquette

Out BEFORE in. Stop eating and talking on your cell. If you have to sneeze of cough COVER YOUR FACE!

7. Blocked Caller ID

This is more annoying than anything. If you don't want me to see who you are, you don't want me to answer. Enjoy my voicemail.


8. Not Saying Thank You

Seriously, I'm just gonna start hitting people.


9. Celebrity News Overshadowing Real News

Do you really think that what Britney did this time is more important than say the 2 wars that the US is involved in? If you answered yes you need to stab yourself in the eye.

10. Fox News, Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity

This totally biased and totally useless news channel needs to be shut down. Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity's fathers should have run them off by hand.